Some Rather Old But Still Funny Anti-UNIX Jokes (One Liners)

\"\"You may have heard a lot of anti-Microsoft jokes before since you can read them everywhere. However, it\’s pretty rare to find anti-UNIX/Linux jokes. So I would like to share with you some pretty old but still funny anti-UNIX one-liners. Enjoy!

* If Unix is the answer, then it must have been a stupid question.

* Unix is the only virus with a command-interface.

* How can an operating system from 1970 (UNIX) be more modern than an operating system from 1978 (VMS)?
* Unix – the first computer virus.

* NFS = Nightmare File System.

* Berkeley is famous for LSD and BSD UNIX. I don\’t think that is a coincidence.

* Sure, the Unix file system corrupts your files, but look how fast it is!

* Friends don\’t let friends use Unix.

* Unix – the ideal operating system for CPU\’s that are never powered up.

* Nothing wrong with UNIX that a total redesign and rewrite cannot fix.

* UNIX will be preempted by NT. UNIX doesn\’t know it yet – it won\’t notice until it\’s too late, because UNIX is the Yugoslavia of software, at war with itself — but it\’s all over.

* The users of Unix systems said speed wasn\’t an issue when the Alpha chip was released. The same people tell their wives and girlfriends that size doesn\’t matter.

* If Unix were a beer, then it would be shipped in open casks so that anybody could piss in it before delivery.

* UNIX is user friendly. It\’s just selective about who its friends are.

* UNIX is akin to a religion to some. If things aren\’t done like they are in UNIX, then they must be bad. Sorry, I don\’t believe in this religion.

* UNIX is a four-letter word!

* VI = Virtually Incomprehensible.

* Unix is about as user friendly as a blow in the back from an ice-pick, only not quite as productive.

* What has happened, when a system-manager gets gray-haired in one day? One day with a UNIX system!

* How do you pronounce UNIX? You Nix!

* Cretin and UNIX both start with C.

* The scariest thing about Jurassic Park was that the control systems were Unix.

* Why is using a UNIX system like being an Enuch? Every time you go to do something important, you realize something critical is missing.

If you know of other funny anti-UNIX/Linux jokes, please share them with us via comment.



Nifty Things to Do with GIMP

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Read here.